try to squeeze a drop of blood...from a sugarcube

(no subject)
so I'm on this whole let's start over pattern. I've had some good times with this thing but HI IM MOVING.


flouting is where you can find me, and a new entry.

obligatory i just broke up with my boyfriend lyrics
Take care not to hurt yourself
Beware of the need for health
Avoid eating too much
When people are such
Take care
Please take care
Some people read Ideal books
And some people have pretty looks
If everyone's eyes are wide
Than all words aside,
Take Care
Please take care
This sounds a bit like goodbye
In a way it is, I guess
As I leave your side
We've taken the air
Take Care,
Please Take Care
Take Care
Please Take Care

so I guess I'm single?

(no subject)
A days have become my reason for living. Helen, Merishna, and Jessica are amazing and I'm still trying to decide what evil forces kept us from interacting in the past. Maybe it was for the good of the world, because in all honesty, we do some pretty awful things.

A few days ago after nourishing our bodies with some delicious chick-fil-a we decided to attempt visiting the local sex shop, the very appropriately titled, love shack. We got about three feet inside and Merishna and I were feigning interest in trashy lingerie that looked like it had been had dragged out of the 80's, when the hag who was running the fine establishment asked us for some ID. The only person who had their license was Merishna and she certainly didn't want to stay in there alone (no matter how huge the dildo's were or how hot the male employees were) so we had to leave. From there we went to Jessica's house to gawk at her hot room mate ( WHOM WE DUBBED "SQUIRTY" FOR REASONS THAT SHALL REMAIN SECRET). He was italian and short and his screename has "DA PIMP" in it. I drew gay porn in MS Paint and he called me immature. Okay, DAPIMP3000, whatever you say. I managed to not break my neck jumping on her trampoline and I even scored a caprisun. Then I went home to wallow in hours of seinfeld and cheese nips.

Today was equally exciting as we went on a tobacco binge. Can you imagine pulling up next to a car full of teenage girls, each fully equipped with a huge cigar and singing along to Ashlee Simpson? I think we went to three separate 7-11s and succeeded in consuming two tiny cherry cigars and one huge chocolate one. We named it "the communal cigar of sisterhood" or something, but I'm pretty sure that's a misnomer considering I'm the only one who really smoked it. I got to say fun things like "SMOKE THAT FATTY" and "YOU WANNA SUCK ON THIS GAR?". Old people thought it was a great idea to stare at us and the lady who was working at the 7-11 called us "sweety" and "honey" when they asked for ID. I had a free sample of a sandwich that tasted like ass and some more chick-fil-a. We corrupted Helen and made her join us in our chain smoking sin fest. Eventually we had to return Merishna to school so that she wouldn't get in trouble for skipping and then I returned home to continue my quest of downloading music. I accidentally deleted all of my music. Yo La Tengo, GONE. Elvis Costello, GONE. The Smiths, GONE. All I have left is shipbuilding and some coldplay stuff. I should have probably started a new paragraph a few sentences ago huh?

I guess I'll just close by mentioning something about how I fell asleep in webster's class and woke up to the penis of a small child and a bloody carcass that was being raped and ravaged. Also, I really hate Le Tigre and I don't care what they stand for because their music makes my ears bleed. People who think that one band can define your stance on feminism are nothing short of moronic. You don't have to like them to be a part of the women's progressive movement and you don't have to be part of said movement just because you like them. This isn't going out to anyone in particular, I've just seen a whole lot of stupid websites. Want to listen to something with genuine feminist undertones? Zak and Sara by Ben Folds, don't understand? I'd be more than happy to offer up an explanation. This is the longest entry of my life I'm going to go smoke one of the remaining menthols in my purse and pray that I die of lung cancer instead of being hit by a bus or something.


And I think only two of you would find this funny, but I accidently posted this in THAT OTHER JOURNAL THAT I HAVE.

(no subject)
Mediocrity is the source of my disdain. More on that later when I have the motivation. Why am I listening to the b-52's?

(no subject)
It is now ILLEGAL for farmers in Iraq to save seeds to plant in the next growing season. They must destroy their seeds and buy new ones from U.S. corporations.

wow good thing we brought them all that freedom huh?

(no subject)

ugggggh I can't even form a coherent sentence and for that I apologize. My parents are fucking ridiculous. Apparently during the last few months you live with them they decide it's a stellar idea to tighten the proverbial leash...IM ABOUT TO TIGHTEN MY HANDS AROUND THEIR NECKS. I hate fucking Mr. West too, he's a misogynist pig and I hope he dies in the gutter, at the hands of an extremely large and strong woman.

why is strangers with candy my favorite show of all time.
Sometimes when I close my eyes I can see my future perfectly, I can build it inside my mind with the same amount of ease that I can picture my face without a mirror or the collage that hangs on my bedroom wall. Ideally I picture myself in the epitome of an indie existence, and yes, I'm really embarrassed to admit that. I really don't like things of the indie nature all that much, I promise.

I can see myself in New York, struggling to afford another pack of cigarettes and a cheap cup of coffee; things that I don't really need but trick myself into believing are necessities. I'll leave in a cheap studio apartment and walk the streets all night long because I can never quite manage to shut my head up long enough to fall asleep. I'll go to one pointless audition after another because in my head, I never get a role. I'm stuck in this perpetual life style that's consumed by a lack of achievement.
That's not really much different than how my life is now. I spend my time at school day dreaming and writing when I should be paying attention to the intricate workings of tsunamis and the trail of feminism that Kate Chopin so kindly blazed.

Being an adult is a scary concept to grasp. When I was little I thought that I'd turn 18 and gain right to all of these privileges that would do nothing but improve my life. Who was I kidding. I don't want to be robbed of the validation of my lack of activity. As of now it's okay that I have no prospects for the future, I'm still a kid, I'm still in high school. In a few months I'm going to be weighted down with obligations and responsibilities that far outweigh any of the "freedoms", most of which I already enjoy.

Lately I am so completely deviod of motivation, it's maddening.

I know what I need to do, I just can't find a reasonable way to do it. I know that I just need to detach myself from Virginia Beach and everything that comprises my life in said area. I need to cut loose my friends, my boyfriend, everything that's pulling me back into the orbit of this fantastic pile of shit. I need to get enough money to go away. I need to figure out who I am and I need to meet people who can help me attain that goal.

All of this raises the big question.What do I want to do? I Know for a fact that acting is my passion and the only thing I can see myself pursuing, which sounds incredibly cliched and ultimately doomed. I don't care. I don't care if the height of my fame is a fucking tooth paste commercial, it's what I'm going to do because it is what I love. Fuck the tangible.

So there it is. The heartfelt entry that you've been waiting for the entire two years that I've been a residing member of the livejournal community. Here is a little piece of Ashleah's thoughts, not covered up by LMAO or some random political rant. For once I decided to actually use this journal constructively.

I'm not depressed or melodramatic, but sometimes this place can really get you down.

Also, everyone go out and buy a David Sedaris book this instant. He's almost as amazing as his sister.

(no subject)

i feel so uber goth. I got a smiths shirt at hot topic. Why are those scene kids listening to my band. Wait...why was I in that store. Please excuse my while I fall off the face of the planet and indulge in endless seinfeld marathons.

(no subject)
I owe you all an update, I'm fully aware. I've been busy. Busy doing what?

Stumbling out of bed and going to school
Making friends with amazing people who I never thought I'd have anything in common with
Ignoring a mass quantity of quite substantial problems that have infested my life
Trying to not eat meat and failing
Trying to pass oceanography and failing

I'd love to continue to enlighten you all in the field of Ashleah, but the movie theater is calling.

I actually liked Hamlet, Mel Gibson was tolerable.


(no subject)


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